


when he walks in, i am loved (and i never stop)

by lovemailhotline



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: "me and my husband", Angst, Hinata Shouyou & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, M/M, Might turn into a series, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, based on tiktok, kinda they r in love but not rlly, whats new, yamaguchi is in love with his best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26488987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemailhotline/pseuds/lovemailhotline
Summary: Yamaguchi is loved by one person in a way no one else is.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yamaguchi Tadashi & Hinata Shoyo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	when he walks in, i am loved (and i never stop)

  
Yamaguchi tosses the ball up into the air. His hair leaps up from his shoulders as he lunges for it, but he misses, like he’s missed the last seven times he’s attempted to set. 

Kei passes him an unimpressed look, not upset, instead bored and annoyed. 

They’ve been trying to do this correctly for the last twenty minutes. Across from them in the giant gym, Hinata and Kageyama are working perfectly together. 

“Sorry, Tsukki,” Tadashi mumbles, rubbing at his frail wrist. 

It’s not that he’s bad at volleyball—if he was, surely someone would’ve spoken to him about it by now. It seems he’s simply not in his right headspace, not able to focus, not able to think about anything for too long. 

Yamaguchi isn’t sure  _ why  _ he’s like this, today of all days, when he gets to practice with Tsukki, like he’d been looking forward to all this week. 

Tsukishima waves a hand at him. “Go sit. I’m gonna run some with Sugawara.” 

_ Oh.  _

Tadashi’s stomach crumples into the ground. He—childishly—desperately wants to protest, wants to run up to Kei with an easy smile and hands that  _ work _ , take his pale palm into his own, and beg him to let them play together more. 

He’s selfish—really, really selfish. 

But if Tsukishima wants to practice with Sugawara, Tadashi won’t stop him. 

“Okay, Tsukki,” He nods. “See you after practice. I’ll be watching you!” 

Kei’s mouth quirks up, in a small, polite smile reserved only for his best friend—Yamaguchi’s heart flutters at the word—before turning away to run over to their gray haired vice-captain. 

Yamaguchi takes a seat on the floor, back pressed against the walls, water bottle in his right hand. He’s not sweaty, nor dehydrated, but there’s a pressing feeling inside of his throat that keeps jumping up when he sees Sugawara touch Kei with easy fingers, a soft voice, a tender smile. 

And Tsukishima  _ accepts  _ it. Accepts it in a way that’s new to Tadashi—because ever since he was twelve years old, Tsukishima couldn’t even handle people looking at him with crinkled eyes. He refused the warmth of others, plugging in headphones and learning how to blank people out of his vision—but  _ people  _ didn’t include Yamaguchi. 

He was different—he was  _ loved  _ by Kei. Loved with pictures of him scattered around Tsukishima’s blue walls, loved with matching bedspreads and phone charms, loved with a playlist dedicated to him that Kei listened to when he needed to be calmed—because  _ Tadashi  _ makes him calm.

Tadashi is aware of his selfishness. He is greatly aware that his stomach shouldn’t feel like it was going to turn itself inside out whenever someone leaned into Kei’s space, and he didn’t tell them to back off, because it’s a  _ good  _ thing Tsukishima is getting along with people again. 

It’s a good thing, but a horrible feeling that erupts into exaggerated terrifying feelings because Tadashi, honest to  _ God,  _ wants to have Kei all to himself, just like he’s had since they were seven years old, just like he’s had when he saw Tsukishima cry in front of him for the first time, just like he’s had when Kei whispered into his collarbone,  _ “You’re my best friend, Tadashi.”  _

_ “Yamaguchi!”  _ A voice screams at him, and Tadashi jumps, hand falling away from above his chest. 

Hinata runs towards him with open arms, tackling his sitting form with his tiny arms. 

“Why aren’t you playing? This is—let me get some of that water—a practice day!” He slips the cold water bottle out of Yamaguchi’s hand, chugging down the rest. 

Yamaguchi shrugs. “Tsukki wanted to play with Sugawara. I wasn’t doing good today.” 

“Well,” Shoyo glances at Tadashi, hesitating. “I think he should  _ help  _ if you aren’t doing good. Not put you on the bench. That’s not how a good team works.” 

Yamaguchi freezes. He’s watching Tsukishima brighten when he slams the ball onto the floor, blocking Daichi’s efforts to keep him from scoring. 

“We  _ are  _ a good team,” Tadashi says, slowly. His stomach begins to erupt. 

Kageyama walks into the gym. Hinata looks between him and Yamaguchi. 

“Okay, Yamaguchi,” He says, sounding defeated. “Okay.” 

_ It’s fine,  _ he wants to say,  _ I’m fine.  _

But Hinata has already skipped over to his setter, wearing a smile that Yamaguchi could never imagine he could mirror. 

  
  
  
  
  


-

“Tadashi,” says someone, hovering above him, shaking his shoulder. 

_ “Mm?” _ Yamaguchi yawns, not opening his eyes. 

“Practice is over,” Kei says, warm and raspy. He’s probably tired from practice. 

Yamaguchi grins, “Did you have a good practice?” 

There’s no answer, awkward silence tensing into the air. There’s no doubt he’d not want to admit how much fun he was having without Tadashi, but it’s not like Tadashi really minds. Watching Tsukishima is enough. 

“Get on my back, okay?” Tsukishima squeezes his knee. 

Yamaguchi nods. He should protest—because it was Kei who played all day, who is sweaty and full of weak limbs. 

But again, he’s  _ selfish.  _ He takes this time to relish the feeling of his thighs pressed against Tskushima’s jersey, arms wrapped around his warm neck, hands curling around black fabric. To feel the hairs on Kei’s neck rise whenever he breathes onto him, savoring the sound of his swallows. 

“Wanna sleep over?” Kei asks, quiet. 

Tadashi nods into his neck. 

  
  
  
  


-

Tsukishima gets confessed to. 

It’s hot outside, and the volleyball team is spying, even though they all know he’ll say no. Like he always does. 

Kei turns the pretty blonde away with less than a handshake. She trembles, nodding like a bobble-head before turning away and walking off, the letter still in her hand. 

“That was rude, Tsukishima,” Kageyama says. “You should’ve at least taken it.” 

Kei gives him a dry look. “I wouldn’t have read it anyways. Why would I accept something that would end up in the trash, anyways?” 

Hinata frowns. 

“Drop it,” Tsukishima says, then starts trudging off to the gym.

The rest of the team walks off, leaving only Tadashi and his red-headed friend, standing awkwardly. 

“Has he ever accepted a confession?” Shoyo asks. 

“Not that I know of.” Yamaguchi rubs his arm. 

Hinata takes a breath. “You like him—right?” 

Yamaguchi chokes, backing away from Shoyo. His eyes are wide, face pale. His mouth is gaped open in surprise. 

_ “What?”  _ He hisses, voice shaking. 

_ “You  _ like Tsukki,” Shoyo repeats. “I didn’t know if I was right, but I have to be, guessing by that extreme reaction.”

“I don’t like him,” Tadashi shakes his head. “I don’t. Quit saying that. He’s my best friend, we’re best friends. That’s all.” 

Shoyo’s eyebrows furrow. “I don’t believe you.” 

“I don’t  _ care!”  _

“Why won’t you say anything? You can’t admit it, even to yourself? Even to  _ me?”  _

“Stop it,” Tadashi’s eyes burn. “Please. I don’t want to talk about this right now. Let’s get back to practice.” 

“So Tsukki can make you sit on the floor for two hours again? I don’t think so, Yamaguchi.” 

“You don’t know  _ anything.”  _

His stomach is doing the thing again. His throat feels like bile is going to rise and he’s going to puke out a swarm of butterflies that are coating the inside of his body. He’s  _ burning,  _ and Hinata’s still not backing down. 

“Why do you stay with him when you feel like this?  _ How  _ do you stay like this?” Shoyo’s ton is close to begging, desperate for an explanation. 

“You—He’s everything I  _ have,”  _ Yamaguchi stutters. “When he’s there, when we’re together, he just  _ loves  _ me. He’s the only person that gets me. That can love me. I know, I know it’s stupid to rely on a childhood friend who would never feel the same way I do, because Tsukki isn’t like that, and he doesn’t  _ like  _ anyone, but he  _ loves me.  _ I’m not an idiot. I know he doesn’t love me like  _ that,  _ but as long as he’s with me, as long as I can stay by his side, I’m so  _ loved,  _ and I’ve never felt that with anyone else but  _ him.”  _

“We have our faults,” Tadashi admits. “But we’re good. We stick together. I’m always going to be Tsukki’s, even if he isn’t mine. Even though he will  _ never  _ be mine.” 

Hinata’s look isn’t of pity, nor sympathy. It’s something Yamaguchi can’t put his finger on. 

“Let’s go practice,” Hinata mumbles, turning away. 

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi agrees, watching as the gym door opens as Kei waves at him. “Let’s go.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this iz a tiktok au i am just indulging in angst content bc i am mean. also will probz have a part two that will b like a 10k oneshot of them falling in love mayb... if some1 wants that.


End file.
